As we approach Thanksgiving, it’s impossible not to reflect on its deeper implications. Historically, Thanksgiving has been framed as a time of gratitude and unity, but for many of our Native American ancestors, it is a painful reminder of genocide and erasure. By the 1900s, Thanksgiving had been weaponized as a propaganda tool, promoting a false narrative of harmony after most of our Native ancestors had been massacred. The holiday was used to mask the atrocities committed and push forward ideals of colonization, reinforcing a system that continues to harm Black and Native communities today.

For us, this holiday is especially painful. R & G, have been kept from us, and this year we couldn’t even say “Happy Birthday” as they turned six and five this November. Despite reaching out, we were met with silence. Thanksgiving, like Christmas, only deepens the wound of their absence. For the past three to four years, we’ve lived with the heartbreaking reality of being unable to celebrate as a complete family. This isn’t just about missed traditions — it’s about the loss of time, connection, and healing that family gatherings should foster.

The environment they are in is far from nurturing. Both boys are wetting the bed, a clear indicator of the stress they’re enduring. This isn’t just about the challenges they face but also about the dynamics of their custodians, who are caught in their own cycles of unresolved trauma. Taking a deeper look, their custodians, have never had biological children. They adopted their three children, including the boys mother. The inability to have children of their own has left deep scars, and those unhealed wounds are now festering in ways that perpetuate harm.

This cycle of trauma repeats itself in destructive ways, affecting not only R&G but everyone involved. The custodians, while perhaps well-intentioned, are operating from a place of control and manipulation rather than love and healing. Their actions — withholding contact, refusing to allow us to even say “happy birthday”, and creating an environment of fear and instability — reflect their own unresolved pain. But it’s the boys who are paying the price.

As parents, we see our fight for the boys as part of a larger struggle to break generational cycles of harm. This includes addressing how colonial systems — like the child welfare system — were designed to control and dismantle Black and Native families. These systems have historically operated not to protect children but to impose power, perpetuate racial trauma, and strip families of their agency.

For us, this journey has been about more than simply bringing them home. It’s about undoing the cycles of control, manipulation, and gaslighting that have harmed families for generations. True family, we’ve learned, is about fostering love, accountability, and healing. It’s about creating spaces where our children can grow without carrying the weight of unresolved pain from the past.

As we move through this holiday season, we hope people will reflect on the true history of Thanksgiving and what it represents for families like ours. For us, it’s not about turkey or traditions — it’s about reclaiming what has been taken from us, whether that’s the stories of our ancestors or the time with our children.

They deserve a future free from harm, where their lives are rooted in love and truth, not in cycles of trauma. We will continue to fight for them — for their return, their healing, and their right to thrive.

~The Pearson’s